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So you’re interested in getting your girlfriend to dominate you in the bedroom, but you don’t know how to broach the subject or how she’ll react. If you think your lady is too shy or too submissive to agree to making you her bitch, trust me when I say that most women quickly warm up to the challenge.

It’s simple: femdom play is exciting and arousing for both partners, physically and psychologically. As the woman in charge, your girlfriend will find it exhilarating to call the shots and boss you around, while you’ll get to revel in giving up control and enjoying the suspense of what she’ll do to you or make you do next.

If you’re both totally new to femdom play, you may want to start with a little role-play first. Ask her to be the domineering boss who forces you to work overtime on her pussy, or the no-nonsense TSA agent who flags your ass as a security threat. Pretending to be someone else can often free up any inhibitions, making it a fun and safe way to experiment with a new power dynamic in the bedroom.

Of course, another obvious route is some light BDSM. Imagine bending over your lady’s knees for a little spanking session. If you want to communicate your desire for a good thwacking, surprise her with a new toy, like a love paddle or riding crop. Bondage is also a common type of dom/sub play and is a solid place to start if your girlfriend is on board but isn’t yet ready to inflict a little pain. It can be as intense or playful as you and your girlfriend want it to be. She can tie your hands behind your back with a necktie or restrain you to the bedposts with fuzzy handcuffs, your legs spread eagle on the bed. Maybe she’ll tickle you with a feather until you can’t stand it anymore or straddle you and rub herself against your hard cock.

Another great way for your lover to have more control in the sack is by giving her the power to decide when you come. Orgasm teasing can take some practice, but once mastered has the potential to really transform your sex life. A guy is most vulnerable right before he comes, which is why it’s so effective for femdom play. If you’ve never experimented with orgasm teasing, Glamour suggests your girlfriend move her hand or mouth away from the head of your penis to the base of your shaft, where it’s least sensitive, thus postponing your climax. To really build up the tension she can do this over and over again, alternating contact from the head to the shaft, making your penis her little bitch until she’s good and ready to let you orgasm.

Now, what if you want to try the ultimate form of submission? As in, getting fucked. Pegging, of course, refers to role-reversing intercourse in which the woman fucks the man. Usually, this involves a strap-on and dildo. Of course, this isn’t a request most straight women get, so this may take some convincing on your lady friend’s part.

If she’s shy about penetrating you, it might be helpful to start with less intrusive butt-play, like a rim job or having her insert a finger or two during sex. Let her see firsthand what the buzz about the male “P Spot” is all about. The “P,” of course, stands for prostate. Shape.com explains how to find the P Spot, which is located about three-quarters of a finger length inside the anus, towards the base of the penis and feels sort of like a walnut. “It’s similar to the female G Spot, and gently massaging this area can give him a powerful orgasm.”

If you’ve never thought about getting pegged or are worried what this may say about your manhood, rest assured that many straight men enjoy the sensation and dynamic of being pegged. In a candid Cosmopolitan.com interview, one man described how exciting the role reversal was, saying it didn’t make him feel any less masculine, just more vulnerable. “We’re steeped in a culture of prescribed sexual roles for men and women,” he said, “so it’s a thrill to break the ‘rules’ and experience things that most people don’t dream of trying.”

It may take some convincing, but once your honey discovers what fun it is to fuck you with a dildo, don’t be surprised if she wants to strap it on again and again. And just think how exciting it will be to try all your favorite positions in reverse!

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